Saturday, 14 January 2017

Everlasting Love...

what is the Thing you most Desire..? go on tell me..! (no dont bother.. I couldn't care less..)

plastic surgery a Range Rover.. a Big House.. a Beautiful watch.. a winning streak in Vegas.. Your best friends wife... and her daughter..

A lottery win, to change your life.. no Fool... it must, be; to Live.. on.. and longer.. you just saw the picture.. and not the frame.. freedom without the Pain...

how about something nobody else is looking for?... the possibility of giving help to another... for NO GAIN.. the madness of kindness.. that is limitless.. unconditional love is the best bulls eye for an arrow from cupid...

yeah it sounds Hallmark, twee and lame.. but when you find Everlasting love you will never be the same... not Human sexual or financial... or even Rachel in "Friends"...

a pleasure that never ends, a Friend who.. Never "Unfriends" something that lives forever.. something divine and ethereal... I have every reason to believe it really exists.. true love like you couldn't believe.... just remember Carrie and Debbie..

so if anybody ever asks you that trick question..
just say this...

''to love and be loved''... (whatever it costs) is the most noble pursuit of a ravenously hungry heart... and every Hero dies trying;. Death is the Currency; of Everlasting Love... life; is 'the price of it..'

just like Nature Boy...

EDIT 3; 1/15/17 @ 1700 GMT

Friday, 13 January 2017

Now and Here

Right now; I have more than you will always have less of... Satori.. contentment, and peace of mind, and feel endlessly blessed in a cocoon of unbreakable love... this long moment is almost endless.. it just goes on and ever on... into the next perfect moment like Ivory Dominoes falling into a cosmic display of wonderment that can never end..

sublime feline like gazes into the enlightened resting place of a sacred sensation, all through the whole body and into the consciousness of a loving eternal being... that has opened the Lotus of all eternal perfections, in the lily pond of my Soul...

Today.. 'I felt the love of God'.. 

what better pursuit of the heart is there.. than to seek the essence of eternity; while being so ephemeral, the very act of curiosity aroused for the understanding of life's true purpose.. is the finest endeavour of a sentient mind...

that seeks for Answers they never seem to find... if they only stopped over complicating the question?... if I could help you I would.. I know I can and I could..

dont worry the subconscious linguistic algorithms in the text above; will actually reach deep into your unconscious mind and heal you.. even if you dont want it to... You cant get Raped by Pure Love... though you just were.. it's always coming anyway.. eventually.. and exponentially... but without the damp patch and the mess...

That's My personal blessing to all You who are Simple enough to read me.. repeatedly.. You must need cunnilingus? a good psychiatrist.. or a good massage.. sometimes a good Shit fixes things..

Try Drugs, they take you to places you didn't think could exist: but opens the veil of Heaven itself.. just by searching for eternal love you will receive it.. forever.. because you have already found it!..

Sunday, 1 January 2017

Life on Pause..

While still feeling grief; no less.. for Dear kind Carrie.. Her Poor Mother Debbie, dies a day later.. of a Broken Heart.. Her last words to her son Todd, were.. "I want to be with Carrie"...

and though I didnt know either of them; nor they I.. yet it feels so immediate and personal... I have been watching every YouTube video I can find to get to know Carrie better.. to appreciate what I am missing... so far She is Charmingly Disarming via Spontaneous phrases of infinite profundity..

If Her Mom did Die to be with Her only Daughter, I hope to God She found Her.. Shouldn't be so difficult.. even in the vast esoteric emptiness of Despair, where only death itself will give you hope.. like those broken souls who take their lives.. who themselves believe in nothing; Nihilists indeed.. where no gentle touch can they feel.. or sympathy, nor any peace in their hearts..

the last week of 2016 has very auspicious passing's of note.. and others of ill repute.. Somebody better be waiting for you on the other side who really loves you.. or you will fall into eternal unconsciousness without memory of any life at all..

an erased cassette tape.. an obsolete molecule in a mouthful of food as the Devil eats your brains.. May Debbie and Carrie be together forever.. until we all meet in the Green Room; of expectancy and mystery.. realised as we re-unite.. Death is a once in a lifetime event.. for sure when you start rotting.. 

there is no coming back as you were..  spirits dont need Backbones... or flesh anymore, the body was a Placenta.. finally you get to be free.. into a perpetual vortex of subtle energy.. that lives independently of Matter.. without Mass.. the soul, made of light..

Like a Photon.. the sacrificial particle of greatest abundance.. how long does a photon Live?  until it hits something!.. then it dies to show you the quantum of lights properties.. in "reflection"... it is the Mother of Sight.. without it, we would all be blind.. for want of light...

Wednesday, 28 December 2016

Carrie Fisher

Woke up 3 am, thinking of Carrie Fisher.. Gone too soon and too Young.. Very sad news indeed.. it's hit me badly.. such a sense of loss.. She should have gone on for another 30 years..

Very sad indeed.. going to take a long time to feel normal again.. here is another case where a hyperbaric chamber would have preserved Her and prevented the clot that blocked Her sweet heart... if they had known how easily air pressure would affect her.. 

add her to the list of many who died while flying.. and still they dont have even 2 Hyperbaric cribs in 1st class, when is someone going to change this.. and get the message... 

See Her at her best; here..
So long Sweetheart.. x..

Tuesday, 27 December 2016

No free mail by 2020:

Now Big Brother has become so common and invisible amongst us.. and we accept a smiley face and even your kids are already hooked in..

Enjoy Free email while it hobble's on.. by 2020 you will need to pay for it.. do you realise the numbers in cash we are talking about? a Trillion a year at $1 a month.. to a dozen billion accounts if not real people.. the number actually exceeds 135 billion accounts since "inception" of the mighty e-mail..

90% fakes frauds fuck ups and pure filth.. squirm to be alive online.. the slime of Humanity, the crime of ID theft is the greatest threat to civilised Humanity; that the whole world is about to be blackmailed for their true identity..

Ironic how the Patriot Act erases your right to have a secret on-line life.. beware the charge of what was once free... and the imprisonment thereon.. there will then be a fee.. just right for you, who is the owner of a 'Me'..

suddenly you can no longer get any identity online coz you cant prove who you are anymore.. you turn out to be a rumour, and though you can breath scream and see.. you aint nobody.. now/then...

it's greatest effect will be on the corrupt.. so dont worry if you have nothing to hide, your alright.. 

But when unassailable HE who is incorruptible, (the Judgement maker Chip court of sentient hive systems..) becomes corrupted, it seems all departmental higher systems then have vulnerability's they didn't teach you in Spy School.. when the 'kick' of the cue-ball prevents a perfect touch.. and what was fair and just; becomes the tool of the unjust..

what started out as a righteous intent, gets bent.. who then is safe to be included, or outed as the enemy.. by the informers who are happy like a stack of Dominos ready to fall in their millions.. the fall guys of humanity used as pawns and slaves without even knowing... their asses were glowing... with a Plutonium fuse like a noose,

the end game is so easily cheated from you.. by pretty information disguised to make you feel safe.. normality is the great seductive illusion of the masses looking into the mirror.. and while smiling saying.. "I still got next year in me, if not tomorrow"... I live forever..

it gets messy... = too many bodies to bury.. there will be no "Clean up" as the people who were allocated those menial tasks are, Amongst the Dead..

As the New World Order requires, a designed inception with absolute control of "Hanky Panky" and rivers of flowing but 'unusable spunk' runs into the furnace..

The useless need to have a 5 year time limit.. to commit suicide.. or they will be fed to animals Alive.. which in itself will become the Worlds favorite reality show.. "The Cowards random snuff show" where people vote to end their pointless lives in many different ways.. 

nothing ever improvised was more entertaining than the terrible suffering of others... while enjoying a back massage from a Masterful masseur.. 

in itself proving that life can end for no good reason at any time of day... and to be scared.. coz one day you will be the prize Pig slaughtered.. badly.. with a tankful of blood leaking out of you.. and many yards of intestine pulled from its opened guts, as the Pig squeals it's last breaths.. the Children Laugh.. 

as Mamma stirs the flowing blood into a bucket to make a gallon of stiff Black Pudding.. while half of it squirts at the ceiling from the poorly aimed Axe at the top of its skull.. and it's left eye is hanging out of the socket..

While the Newly weds in the Barn fuck like Dogs with sperm and menstrual Blood drowning baby mice just born beneath their pummeled crotches...

Big brother has been fingering you up till now.. soon you will be having intercourse with a bilge pump.. to empty your testicles of bad sprit's and embarrassing dumb ass offspring..

Paternity is for eternity... but bastards never get included, or Abortions.. please dont go there, yet; now; maybe never; I condoned Murder once and am as guilty as the state who allowed it..

Sentimentality has no place in a less than randomised and gently controlled, super preference; rather than mongeral fuck in an ally way.. 

Eugenics is not a Monster you Kill; it is a Monster you dont allow to be existant.. it is only Murder when you get impatient for results... 

He; or She; who Deny's the Holocaust; should taste the Holocaust, in the cold of mercilessness.. to be killed when you are hungry, cold and naked to the World..

Hate deserves the grate.. where ashes of the good would be born again if they could.. The dead never die as long as the living remembers them...

Sunday, 18 December 2016

The paper Internet..

One evening in 1959/61..  a Man came to "sit with us" not a bible brasher, but a living live "salesman" from Encyclopaedia Britannica.. My simpleton anal retentive Father, sat totally subservient like a patsy, and after hours of explanation, the salesman posed a question My dad had no answer to.. 

"dont you want this for your whole family, a mine of information to help you better understand the world in which we live.. a whole library where almost everything is found.." 6 easy payments total with interest, £109, 19 shillings.. how would you like to pay..?

so my dimwit dad bought what you can only term an enclosed paper internet.. it tried to be all things, every answer to all questions.. yes that sucker bought it, and do you know where it proudly sat?.. in the Airing cupboard.. until one day he sold it for £10 when he was drunk..

along with other impulse purchases he made also while Drunk.. the first polaroid Land camera.. he got one of those, and shot all of one packet of pics.. then, an 8mm movie camera... and of course My Mother paid it off.. as usual... he was penny wise and pound simple.. a real dickhead.. a terrible example for a son to emulate.. he used to sit in the dark Drunk; weeping like a wailing woman, crying over his Mum.. whom he was cruel to... he bought 40 cars in 2 years, was his proudest boast..

he left the navy in 1957 and for his wartime service, as an Officer was given a gratuity of £10,000; a veritable fortune in those distant days.. and in the next 5-7 years blew the lot on one dead end idea or investment, He took us all to New Zealand, for a year, He thought he could find a future there..

He had a crippling weakness.. Women and Drink.. He was just a fornicator never a father.. a mean guttersnipe who who sneered in early photos of him.. joined the Navy at 14, went through night school and got a lot of Quals.. and became a NAVIGATOR which is so ironic, as he was hopeless at navigating his own life..

He used to say " joined th Navy when I was 14 for 'sixpence' a week.. and came out an Officer.." yes Dad, but not a Gentleman.. just a bitter peasent who never evolved or ameliorated into the Class of Person he thought he had aspired to.. and tried mix with..

I was just an inconvenient Bastard, and treated me like one, but was his only Son.. whatever that means?.. not a lot to him.. it was homo to love your son's then..

People were so simple and naive.. now you dont need to get a book, or books.. the whole world is there at the asking.. if you only know; 'what to ask'.. if only you were hungry enough to go for it..

but people are still simple, as they still dont understand the Answer when they get one.. life is a Fractal, you can only look deeper..

He Drowned at Sea in the Persian Gulf.. in 1976.. the Tanker he was in broke its back in a Storm.. others were saved; but He was lost.. and my wicked Step mother from Central casting, got the lot..

I guess I just Exorcised Love hate and Repressed grief of my father's memory here in blog.. I wish he had been a better man, but would I have been any worse if he was.. it doesn't necessarily follow.. that good man make good Kid.. that is why we are all masters of our own destiny.. but having no Guidance leaves you without something to hold on to... we never had a single conversation in my entire time with him.. he was a shallow man with desire alone for a soul.. wrapped in a foreskin like a knitted jumper with Sleeves too long..

A Sham of a Man, a Ham of a Hamlet.. a Groundling who thought he was a Player... not a Father just an intoxicated fornicator.. and fuckers breed fuckers.. Duh.., My mother was a bug catcher for mindless fornicators, she was herself a fornicator.. with a baby pay back later... a fat worthless bastard..

a finely tuned natural intelligent mind can hack it.. but very few get through from the limiting distractions of Pleasure or self indulgence.. games have champions, life is a game for all to win, if you choose the path without sin.. and seek the eternal within..

Cheaters never win.. and frauds are skinned alive in the vast rat hive of social media... be careful who you choose to be online.. being too natural is now a hate crime... Go no Makeup!.. like Alicia Keys dont paint your face to please... Go as You Are... only Real people are the real true Stars.... Spontaneous friendly funny likable.. Random people make the best bedfellows...

The University of Diversity is just a bus ride away.. you dont make money having fun.. unless your an accidental Artist... wash the brush in the tears of your sorrow.. the painting is your life... every twist and turn of fate is a line.. on the journey of your own self discovery.. or self destruction...

a fate can turn on someone else's Whim.. be Master of your heart and find the goodness within... Dream if you need to..

When is it Time to Die.

it is always time to die. or to kill.. time waits for no zygote. time catches up with you. attack Defend, murder revenge. mass murder is justified to a poisoned mind: They have the will and we have nothing but denial.. this is not happening.. oh yes it is..

Life is totally esoteric, you were only given this life, so you can have.. 

''the Luxury of a mortality''.. it's a trick of God's humour.. if you think it all comes to a finite end, you will defiantly do better next time.. when you are shocked back into existence..

which you will return to.. in idle endless eternity... it might be trillion years, but it will feel like "the next day": whether you like it or not!..

we will become everyone; one by one... and we will all be somebody in the end.. every soul gets a chance to be truly happy.. one day..


Money 'can buy you happiness' but it cannot acquire; what is free to all... by eternal suffering; an ever reawakening consciousness.. You are doomed to die until you can only live forever.. so ironic it's a fate you can not avoid:

Consciousness is the prime directive of evolution.. it is as near to a Quantum Matrix, that needs only thoughts alone to exist at all.. using no energy whatsoever.. one future someday.. you will be just a ball of light.. an eternal child with a rude freewill.. dancing across the sky..

only those that strive to live, survive beyond the moment of disappointment: not every life ends in Heaven... not all bread is Leaven.. the many are doomed to be damned.. only a pure Heart 'can contain the Joy of Life'.. all others are corrupt and falsely veneered, fake dignity, and rebuilt faces.. with an assumed heritage, Beauty alone is not virtue..

the moment you think you are Good; becomes the cusp of evil.. where you slip and slide with bloated pride.. your achievements are null and void.. every dictator starts in raptures of delusion.. self aggrandisement and illusion.. The king is a common Man, with revenge in one hand and Mercy in the other.. The Brother like no other.... who has the magnanimity of heart.. to forget forgive and help you in your lowest hour.. seconds from the Hangman's noose..

Bad Edit: yes but had to add that semantic dovetailing.. on a later re-reading..

Russel Brand is probably not the Saviour of Mankind, he give it a good try.. no it's another Guy.. a Guy from the sky.. Rupert Murdoch has total control of the world, he is bidding for the future of civilisation as we speak... where every new born will be given a 4k TV and a Box to keep shows in, for a lifetime of couch slobbing entertainment, the Entire world will be his TV Show.. and every shit on Earth will get ate least 15 frames if not seconds... to look into the mind of God itself...

which is watching other people doing the things you want to do but cant.. Coz They got a life, and your just the Audience... of Losers..

Hallelujah.. throw your remote control away.. your in your own show.. called "Fat Poor People" shopping in Walmart.. with a whole book of coupons.. and $25 to spend on saturated sugary shit to keep you fat lazy and retarded... and hooked like a Salmon in a bears Jaws.. on misinformation... which is a killing of the individual.. who amount to nothing:

Monday, 12 December 2016

Billion dollar Idea!

Honest and totally original... YOU start a Local town Agency called... "Random dinner Guest's for hire.. from $9.99 - 1000, is cheapest the best, or expensive the worst.. where is your preference... what is the limit of your panchromatic absurdity.. your ability to meet the disturbingly idiosyncratic who may be too dynamic for your tastes... make a Party bomb.. or come to life..

You join up as a Guest, for say $50 bucks, and whatever fees are arranged they are paid directly into the Agency by PayPal, deducting 25% as the agent.. all you got to do is, count the money.. and answer the phone..

you could have a wide and varied assortment, you could specify.. dinner guests from Hell, to saintly naked nymphos who are insatiable and easily aroused.. shitters spitters, Screamers.. depending on the Party theme..

You get to give Dinner to somebody, who might actually be hungry.. or whatever, a transvestite.. a wife beater.. as long as they are mildly entertaining.. it is Your Puzzle box of randomness to escape from, or contain... the concept of this could go global, and I wish you all well.. may you bring yourself to the feast of life...

and just share what you will never own anyway... the more you submit to being nothing; the more density of spirit you can share abroad... with strangers from another reality...

you must add an X at the end of your name to unify us throughout the Universe... we then can be each others Dinner guest.. wherever in the world you be...

I will come to you.. or you can come to me.....

they all then said; AMEN... +
to make a stranger a friend..

I give thanks..

To God, and My Mother.. who are ethereal not material... but when did that ever matter to a simple mind.... how far do you go up the scale of an absolute theoretical fanciful intuitive knowledge... who knows Jack Shit? actually...

I went Rock n Roll tonight.. took a really stupid risk... as I had been without my DOC.. 'Drug of choice'.. or derivative indeed.. and I had won £80 on a scratchcard, so with only £40 more... I coulld Score!!

and after several 4.8 Stella's.. I texted my Contact... told him I already lost my licence Twice!... and couldn't risk meeting tonight (Now last night, as it is passed but still the same night) 

But The Better got hold of my malingering Cringing, and cold turkeys.. and went into terminal Rk-n-Rll Who dares wins, kinda attitude... and with the dtermination of a Secret service agent I drove over the limit for 25 miles, Via all the F=ROADS even Sat Nav has never been Savvy about.. farm roads, so to speak.. that only is wide enough for 1 dang Car!.. even Fiats!..

I slid in the Offal the Mud and the Slurry of a thousand Cows Shitting.. the piss was so congealed it was like pork jelly in a tinned Ham.. I never seen so much Crap for such a long time.. it takes me back to 19 fucking Seventy fucking 8.. for fucks sake...

Oh God I wish I was Somebody Else.. to take the blame.. I feel so ashamed.... for all that th3n; and all this now... but with my DOC.. I would risk 3 years BAN which is automatic, since my last Ban was 2012.. since I was about to drive off a cliff... I am glad they caught me... or I'd never have written this dum blog.. 

It was exciting; Dangerous... and tons of fun... but never were my faculties soo keen and sharp.. when a reward of great equal.. equals the pleasure you seek.. it is virtually Divine...

Drugs are the only way to feel almost normal: You have no Idea!: till you have an original Idea... in a moment or Rapture.. whether you record it or not is the difference between Ego, and Egolessness.. when you realise you will never be God...

You are nobody.. but a trillion Nobodys.. made China.. you are never no-one until you submit to deviation... a world can fall at the spit of one mans wishes... Who was Fu man Chu?.. who are you.. a Party or coven of power and control... Who "Thinks" for China.. may the Party win... a group of minds is far better than dictator... a One man Hater.. Long live the Great People of China!...

Man I am so glad to be STONED... Again... My Dealer; is a personal Jesus Christ.. "He has touched me with his healing Balm's" and gift's of hope.. for the endless struggle to get some Good Dope...

Unlike an athlete.. taking drugs makes you who "ONE" was supposed to be.. coz losing ones mind makes you feel so free.. no need to cheat the league Being nothing is better than make believe... only the winners are the losers, as the lost are always saved.. achieve Zero, and expect nothing and you will get "Everything".. that you can hold..

if you have an EGO you really will Die.. only the Lost are SAVED!... and always the brave.. just tow the line and behave.. the least of Us; has the Beast in Us... Dont be afraid to be wild for a while...

just beam a violent smile.. '~'